


it wasn't healthy anyway

by Hemogobbler



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: ANGST IN THE TACO BELL, ANGST IN THE TIMESTREAM, Angst, Apocalypse, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, catra is inevitable, catra keeps adora in her reality, catra will be the end of all things, catra's cosmic suicidal love note, s3 was phenomenal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 11:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hemogobbler/pseuds/Hemogobbler
Summary: Catra plays pretend for a little longer while Adora inches closer to the truth.





	it wasn't healthy anyway

Every time she catches Adora slipping away, getting closer to the truth of her cosmic suicide note, Catra distracts her. **  
**

She holds on to this perfect dream they have for another hour, another day that instantly turns into a week because Adora is slow and the fabric of space-time is corrupted.

Catra can see that Adora’s figuring it out, though. 

Flashes of themselves in the _real_ Etheria rock them both. Catra can no longer forget the She-Ra in her face, and so Catra tends to realize quickly when they are unraveling through the false timeline.

All it usually takes is for Catra to change the scene, change the conversation, avoid all the mirrors and wait for the ravaged timestream to do the rest. Then, Adora is happy, and Catra is happy, and they forget themselves with each other. 

They do all the things they wanted to do - except for sparring because Adora starts to freak out - but they go on raids together, and even got to go on a camping excursion with the squad where they fished and tracked animals and got to share a tent. 

Ȃ̢͖͓̈̋ p̡̝͙̞̉̿̓͡e̡͉͗̐r̘͙͙̗̂̌̚͞fę͒c͖̲̬̊̉͠t̝͊ ̛̣̭͕͕̀̃̄̋͜d̩̤͇̯̂͂͠͝ȧ̹ȳ̨̞̘̀̓.̥̼̠̲̪̒̑̂̔

Catra remembers the look Adora gave her, like she had finally accepted this reality for a paradise, and was so eternally grateful to its gatekeeper. They sat cross-legged amidst the magic of a moonlit night, holding hands in their tent, looking at each other, talking and laughing. 

Catra’s senses fade. Adora says something and smiles as Catra nods and leans closer. 

There’s something clawing at Catra’s insides as Adora closes her eyes and touches their foreheads together. The thing expands, grows sharp and wants out. Sick with fear and incredibly fucking angry that the universe will not allow her this, knowing she doesn’t deserve it but demanding it nonetheless, she growls, but it turns to a deep purr. 

Adora whispers to her words so warm that Catra knows this is a dream. A response carves its way up her throat, something anguished and hateful. 

_I win_, dies on her lips in a cracked smile. Adora tilts her head up in a firm kiss.

Time skips. 

When Adora pulls away, she’s smiley and red and Catra is poison, heavy with guilt. 

Adora’s face freezes and she searches for something behind Catra’s head. Realization dawns coldly on Adora’s face as fragments of the truth pull her eyes wide. 

“Stars...” Adora points to the sky outside, which was dark but for the moons. Catra knows Adora’s seeing something, a mirror torn through the sky that would reveal to them their most life-altering experiences. Stars?

“I’m a First One,” Adora gasps. 

The earth rumbles, but she doesn’t seem to notice. 

“I’m an alien, Catra! I’m -- a, I’m She-Ra!”

Fuck. 

“No, you’re not! You’re my Adora!” Catra insists, holding Adora’s cheek in a practiced touch of death favored by Shadow Weaver, looping the ear and resting warmly at the victim’s side.

Adora shakes her head, tears welling and mouthing sorry refusals and that ‘this isn’t right’ but it’s not making Catra feel anything. The world churns and reality bends as the portal’s path of destruction finds Adora. It’s bound to her, _because of course it is_, and they watch the end of all things take hold in mutual suffering.

Holes scream open and tear up the sky, swallowing pockets of the world in crystalline flashes of destruction. The air shatters around them and escape is made impossible by the thunderous cracking of the earth as the campground and its people are unmade. 

Catra’s voice creeps up quietly and without pretense.

“Please, just, stay with me… until this is all over?” 

Adora’s face is stern as she relives tender moments spent together across time. Catra knows her answer, but it hurts to hear every time. 

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Catra’s voice is small, tired.

“You’re going to kill us all,” A shaky breath and then the edge in Adora’s voice is back. 

“Oh, Adora, you’ve already nailed that. Now I’m killing you. It’s only fair.” 

She lunges, but before her claws can come out all the way, Catra is shown when they were kids, and the neck she’s targeting is attached to a soft and pudgy girl - her best friend. Catra smiles and misses. She swallows a fleeting joy and takes another swipe. 

Adora doesn’t hesitate, grabbing Catra by the arm and throwing her off the side of the world in one motion. The rush of air is as invigorating as the last touch of Adora’s hand.

_It’s over._

As Catra falls, she sees Adora fly away on a white horse, without a glance back to the carcass of the world she has left behind on her dramatic quest. 

Catra will not allow this to be over. 

She will survive because this dimension is as much a part of her as she is a part of it. She chose to pull the lever and she will make Adora feel the consequences until she gives up, or finally kills her for good. Then, maybe, Catra can take some pride to the grave.

Time shifts. 

Reality.

Catra’s hand is on the lever. Adora, Entrapta, Hordak watch her in stunned silence.

Do they remember? 

Hordak looks at her with a grimace and Entrapta shakes her head.

Adora mouths ‘_please_’.

Catra pulls it again.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'ALL HOW DOES THIS SHOW KEEP GETTING BETTER IN SUCH CRAZY WAYS?? HOLY SHIT TALK TO ME ABOUT S3 PLEASE I'M LOST.  
CATRA'S GOT A HELL OF A REDEMPTION COMIN. AND ADORA'S KNOCKOUT PUNCH??? YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
